things

This time last year i was preparing for a daughter and now i have a son. Though my life didnt take the corse i wanted or even liked i have come to peace with all that has happened. Now dont get me wrong im not saying that the fellings of sadness and pain are gone or even that its ok but i have come to realize in the past two years that noting is ever in my control, every thing and every one in my life belongs to God and he can do with everything as he sees fit. No i wont always know why or when things will happen but i know now that i have to let go and let him be in control, every thing in his time not mine. I have been know to be a scheduler, everything down to the minute! lately i have been struggling to get Romeo on a schedule and as you might imagine with a newborn it is very difficult to have him awake when he is supposed to be so that he can sleep through the night. In the past two days i think we have finally gotten it down, i actually got 5hrs of sleep last night and to me that feels like sleeping through the night seeing as how my husband and i both have been delerious lately due to lack of sleep. im hoping that things will even out soon.
i have been breast feeding my son for the past 6 weeks and just recently had to start supplementing with formula. Im trying really hard not to feel discouraged about that fact, im taking some herbs that a good friend suggested but i havent seen an increase in milk or its consistancy...i know that my body is trying to be done but im fighting it as hard as i can. i know its best for my baby and not to mention cheaper!! im just hoping that i can keep going.
and the baby cries.. i guess thats it for today

Romeo

well he has officially arrived!!!!!!!!!!! 2/15/10 it was so surreal to se him for the first time laying there on my tummy. it was the moment i had been waiting for my whole life from the time i had my first baby doll i have wanted to be a mom. in that moment nothing else mattered ... the world stopped, the only things that existed were me jon and our precious baby boy. needless to say we are consumed with staring at our son whlie he sleeps as well as with feedings and diaper changes. we are also faced with our future making crucial decisions that will affect the rest of not only our lives but our childres as well. over all this week has been amazing, dispite the lack of sleep i have truly enjoyed every single moment spent with Romeo and his daddy. i love them both more than my own life and i cant wait to see what the future will hold.

"the future belongs to those who prepare for it"
(i read this on a bilboard on the way home from the hospital....ironic huh.)

update

Well were 5 weeks away from the estimated due date of or little Romeo we had our 35 week visit yesterday and all the news was good! i will be taken off of the terb pump that is keeping me from going into labor on suday which is valentines :) and we are anticipating about 3 to 5 days after that is discontinued we will be heading to the delivery room if not sooner. we have recently decided on some things that had taken a very long time for us.. first of all the circumcision issue has been cleared up, if you ask me its an issue that has to much controversy lately!! the cloth diapering decision and luckily i have found out that we have several friends that are doing this with thier children which is going to be SOO helpful. i have also recently been looking into making my own organic baby food from things we already have in our home, which ofcorse i wont really need to decide on that untill the time of solid food feeding comes but i know time flies and im not going to do that to myself. we will deffinatly be keeping every one posted with baby updates and pictures once he arrives.